So, although I am loathe to admit defeat, I'm afraid I'm off the liquid diet.
I just couldn't do it anymore. Props to anyone who can keep it up and be successful, but I couldn't get past the fact that two out of my three meals tasted like the contents of a colostomy bag. Not to mention the fact that my blood sugar took a hit and I was a raving fucking douchebag whose co-workers wanted to shoot her in the face the whole time I was on it.
The day I decided to go back on the Weight Watcher's plan, I couldn't believe the change in my outlook and mood. I was bopping around the office, telling jokes and singing. S. looked at me and said, "It's good to have you back, A. You scared me yesterday."
So, I'm going for walks and stuff, and hopefully that will make more of a difference. Life's too short to starve to death.
Thursday 29 January 2009
Monday 26 January 2009
Starvin' Marvin
That's me today. I've started a new diet. It's called Isagenics (I think), and essentially what happens is that I replace two of my meals with these shakes and once a week, I fast. On my fast days, I drink this "cleanse" formula four times a day. It tastes like shit, but it's forcing me to drink a lot more water than I generally do.
I don't intend to be on this diet forever. My thought is that I will do this until I lose a certain amount of weight and then get back on to Weight Watchers. I tried WW last year, but even though I was fanatical about keeping track of everything that I ate, I just kept losing and gaining the same five friggin' pounds, usually around the time my period was to start. It was really discouraging.
I did some research on the internet and discovered that the medicine I'm on for fibromyalgia, amitryiptilene, makes it difficult to lose weight. So I'm hoping the Isagenics is drastic enough to have some kind of effect.
Things at work haven't gotten a whole lot better either. The day after my last post, I was upset enough that I actually cried at work. This is unheard of behaviour from me, I can tell you that. I won't bother to recount the details, since ultimately they are trivial and boring to anyone not actually involved, but let's just say that I have a healthy reserve of resentment for Senior Member, who is not back until the 9th.
Last week, we learned that Senior Member has indicated to The Boss that if she doesn't get the time off that she wants when she wants it, she will quit. To which I say, "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out." Senior Member has been with the company for 14 years, and is looking at retirement in the next five or six years anyway. And while she has become something of an institution, I have consistently stated in my performance reviews that I would be willing to step into her position when that time comes. (That was before the last debacle with the Lazy Douchebag). I understand that the Powers That Be don't want Senior Member to bugger off and leave them in a tight spot, but c'mon; no-one is indispensible. I am frankly appalled that this company would allow any of their staff members to hold them hostage, especially when they have someone with half a brain who is willing and able to fill the position for less money than they are currently paying Senior Member.
Senior Member still has five weeks of vacation owed to her, and we know for certain that she is going on a cruise in the first two weeks of August, which is traditionally when my co-worker, S., visits her sister in B.C. But Senior Member didn't consult or even check with S. when she booked her holidays, so we are Not Happy Campers.
I don't intend to be on this diet forever. My thought is that I will do this until I lose a certain amount of weight and then get back on to Weight Watchers. I tried WW last year, but even though I was fanatical about keeping track of everything that I ate, I just kept losing and gaining the same five friggin' pounds, usually around the time my period was to start. It was really discouraging.
I did some research on the internet and discovered that the medicine I'm on for fibromyalgia, amitryiptilene, makes it difficult to lose weight. So I'm hoping the Isagenics is drastic enough to have some kind of effect.
Things at work haven't gotten a whole lot better either. The day after my last post, I was upset enough that I actually cried at work. This is unheard of behaviour from me, I can tell you that. I won't bother to recount the details, since ultimately they are trivial and boring to anyone not actually involved, but let's just say that I have a healthy reserve of resentment for Senior Member, who is not back until the 9th.
Last week, we learned that Senior Member has indicated to The Boss that if she doesn't get the time off that she wants when she wants it, she will quit. To which I say, "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out." Senior Member has been with the company for 14 years, and is looking at retirement in the next five or six years anyway. And while she has become something of an institution, I have consistently stated in my performance reviews that I would be willing to step into her position when that time comes. (That was before the last debacle with the Lazy Douchebag). I understand that the Powers That Be don't want Senior Member to bugger off and leave them in a tight spot, but c'mon; no-one is indispensible. I am frankly appalled that this company would allow any of their staff members to hold them hostage, especially when they have someone with half a brain who is willing and able to fill the position for less money than they are currently paying Senior Member.
Senior Member still has five weeks of vacation owed to her, and we know for certain that she is going on a cruise in the first two weeks of August, which is traditionally when my co-worker, S., visits her sister in B.C. But Senior Member didn't consult or even check with S. when she booked her holidays, so we are Not Happy Campers.
Tuesday 20 January 2009
I Snapped!
I lost my shit at work today.
I actually got so frustrated that I went into another room and started rehearsing my "I-Can't-Do-This-Shit-Today-So-I'm-Going-Home" speech. I even imagined my Boss's response and rehearsed my rebuttal. It was gonna be a tough sell, after two weeks away. So, eventually, I sucked it up and went back to the grind.
But I still snapped. Twice.
Part of the frustration is that we are still not caught up on all the work that is backlogged from when the senior member of our department went away for four weeks, the same four weeks that resulted in us dealing with Lazy Douchebag. And that same senior member has requested--and received--another two weeks off starting on Thursday. Neither my co-worker nor I are best pleased.
It's not that we begrudge her the time, as she's earned it. It's the timing we mind. Not only are we still backlogged, especially in filling, but we've been getting more mail than usual and The Powers That Be have altered how we do it, so it takes twice as long to process. Also, it's coming up on tax season and we have to get several thousand T4s and T4A slips into the mail before the end of February. And that's in addition to all of our regular tasks.
Today was especially challenging because the machine we use to stuff the T4s into envelopes is notoriously sensitive and was being an asshole. I couldn't stuff more than ten envelopes at a time before it jammed up, and when it jams, that's three envelopes I have to do by hand. Add to that the fact that the sealer wasn't working properly and I was starting to really resent being in that room doing that stupid work.
I blew a hype just to vent some steam at my co-worker, who doesn't handle conflict well. She understood that I wasn't displeased with her, but still isn't comfortable around large displays of negative emotion. J. took me downstairs for lunch, which helped, but only temporarily, because the moment I entered the office, the senior member (the one who is leaving the day after tomorrow) told me that I needed to go through every single envelope that I had stuffed that morning and pick out all the ones that weren't sufficiently sealed.
That's when I went off the second time.
"I know you want to swear," said the senior member.
"I want to go home!" I informed her. "This is crap! Why do we have the machine if it doesn't do the work we need it to do? (It's always being serviced, out of commision, etc). It doesn't save us work, it makes work..." I indicated the large pile of envelopes that needed sealing. "Just like this!"
It had taken me hours, literally hours, to do what should have been a quick and easy job of 45 - 60 minutes, and I couldn't get to any of my other tasks for the day until the T4s were done because the senior member wanted to post them before she left at 3:00. And then to come back, thinking I was all finally all finished, to learn that I had to pick through every single one?
Yes, I was very displeased and needed to leave the room to calm down.
I'm hoping that other job gets posted soon, because I'm not going to last much longer where I am.
I actually got so frustrated that I went into another room and started rehearsing my "I-Can't-Do-This-Shit-Today-So-I'm-Going-Home" speech. I even imagined my Boss's response and rehearsed my rebuttal. It was gonna be a tough sell, after two weeks away. So, eventually, I sucked it up and went back to the grind.
But I still snapped. Twice.
Part of the frustration is that we are still not caught up on all the work that is backlogged from when the senior member of our department went away for four weeks, the same four weeks that resulted in us dealing with Lazy Douchebag. And that same senior member has requested--and received--another two weeks off starting on Thursday. Neither my co-worker nor I are best pleased.
It's not that we begrudge her the time, as she's earned it. It's the timing we mind. Not only are we still backlogged, especially in filling, but we've been getting more mail than usual and The Powers That Be have altered how we do it, so it takes twice as long to process. Also, it's coming up on tax season and we have to get several thousand T4s and T4A slips into the mail before the end of February. And that's in addition to all of our regular tasks.
Today was especially challenging because the machine we use to stuff the T4s into envelopes is notoriously sensitive and was being an asshole. I couldn't stuff more than ten envelopes at a time before it jammed up, and when it jams, that's three envelopes I have to do by hand. Add to that the fact that the sealer wasn't working properly and I was starting to really resent being in that room doing that stupid work.
I blew a hype just to vent some steam at my co-worker, who doesn't handle conflict well. She understood that I wasn't displeased with her, but still isn't comfortable around large displays of negative emotion. J. took me downstairs for lunch, which helped, but only temporarily, because the moment I entered the office, the senior member (the one who is leaving the day after tomorrow) told me that I needed to go through every single envelope that I had stuffed that morning and pick out all the ones that weren't sufficiently sealed.
That's when I went off the second time.
"I know you want to swear," said the senior member.
"I want to go home!" I informed her. "This is crap! Why do we have the machine if it doesn't do the work we need it to do? (It's always being serviced, out of commision, etc). It doesn't save us work, it makes work..." I indicated the large pile of envelopes that needed sealing. "Just like this!"
It had taken me hours, literally hours, to do what should have been a quick and easy job of 45 - 60 minutes, and I couldn't get to any of my other tasks for the day until the T4s were done because the senior member wanted to post them before she left at 3:00. And then to come back, thinking I was all finally all finished, to learn that I had to pick through every single one?
Yes, I was very displeased and needed to leave the room to calm down.
I'm hoping that other job gets posted soon, because I'm not going to last much longer where I am.
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