Thursday 25 June 2015

Her Majesty Interpreted

Her Majesty The Queen is quite possibly one of the most documented people in history. She has spent virtually her entire life, and certainly her entire sixty-two-year reign, in front of the camera. It's not surprizing, then, that occasionally, the lens captures the Sovereign in a moment of candid reflection, of disapproval, of bewilderment.

Constitutionally, Her Majesty is not permitted a public opinion, which I think must be one of the greatest drawbacks to being a Royal. All of The Queen's thoughts and feelings must be kept private--in public, in front of the ever-present camera and throngs of observers, Elizabeth II must appear to be interested, entertained and engaged by whatever is happening around her.

But what is she *really* thinking? Freed from the constitutional fetters of duty and service, what would Her Majesty say, given half the chance?

(click the photos to embiggen)

"Oh, you athletic types think you're so relevant, standing around punching a phallus bag. All of you need a ladder to get over yourselves. Why don't you go take a shower and volunteer at a shelter?"




"People climbing the wall. How banal. If you want to know what it's like to climb the wall, why don't you spent ten minutes with Philip sometime when he's on a rant about the working class? You won't need special shoes or divots in the plaster, One can assure you of that."
"Philip, One is sorry that you don't feel well, but no, you may not have One's hat. Perhaps you shouldn't have had that fifth cocktail--what did you call it? Hippo Laxative?-- before we left the Palace this morning."

And finally in this one, I like how Philip is careful to be looking somewhere else.
HM: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........
DOE: Nothing to see here, eh, Cabbage? Fancy a gin? How about those Hotspurs? Goodness, these pants are tight.

HM: Shut up, Philip. One is praying for a lightning storm. Fucking Canadians.

1 comment:

Keith said...

Almost all of us have a trusted friend that we can share our opinions with, however candid, on whatever topic, upon varying levels of drunkeness. HMQEII does not have these options. I wonder how many actual friends she has, where she can settle back in sweats and fuzzy slippers, and say, "Bloody hell, Ethel, make that two splashes of gin in that drink, and can you believe..." and Ethel may have seen it on TV if she cared. It's not like she chose to be Queen, or schemed or plotted to gain the throne. It must be a very lonely life, for all that it's so very public.