Saturday 16 September 2017

A Hazy Shade of Douchebag

A lot has happened since I posted last, most of it unpleasant, but some of it positive enough to keep me from climbing to the top of a bell tower with a high-powered rifle. Still, there are moments...

To begin with, the day after I had a long and very supportive, positive talk with The New Guy, he called the department into the conference room to announce that he had to resign for private and personal reasons. It was a terrible blow to us (except Bananarama), and as he broke the news, one could easily see that the decision had gutted him. My strong suspicion is that his wife either decided she couldn't or wouldn't move to the municipality of Buttfuck from the city where he had worked prior to coming to us. I am speculating here, but it is possible that one of his kids has special needs or something and maybe they were having trouble finding a school or a specific program...I don't know. All I know is, everyone in that room (except Bananarama) felt a great loss at this announcement.

One of the last things The New Guy did before he left was write a report to the City Solicitor with a list of recommendations for changes to our department.  And specifically one of the concerns he raised was the culture of bullying that the clerks have to endure from specific individuals.

And thank Christ on a Cheeto that he did, because Bananarama has been on an unholy tear. And she's either not that bright or she feels empowered (or both), because she's been bullying me publicly for the whole department to see. At our large departmental meeting prior to his leaving, The New Guy and everyone else watched as Bananarama brought up the isolated incident of the incorrect acknowledgement letter that I mentioned in my last post. She wanted to discuss it as a series of ongoing, chronic issues, when--as stated--it was a one off. And I did not shrink away from reminding her that this was a direct result of her jumping the queue and insisting that her work be done on a priority basis. Bananarama did not like being confronted with inconvenient facts. She clearly resents it, and that, children, is tough shit for her.

The result of this exchange during the meeting is that The New Guy suggested implementing a new policy by which claims that need to be opened on an emergent basis be strictly defined and adhered to, so as to avoid "those that shout the loudest" getting preferential treatment.

But, of course, being the childish slitch that she is, Bananarama has punished me ever since. One day last week, I was in the photocopy room doing, you know, MY WORK, and while the adjuster M. was discussing a particularly stupid claimant with me, Bananarama breezed into the room and immediately swiped her security card on the machine, thus interrupting my print job.

M. couldn't quite believe her eyes. She looked at me, saw that I was unimpressed (and stunned) and then she said, "Bananarama, The Best Fucking Clerk in the World is in the middle of a job here."

(Okay, she might not have referred to me in those terms, but work with me here.)

"Oh," Bananarama said, unconvincingly. "Sorry."

Then, just this past Wednesday, it happened again, only this time, M. wasn't in the room. I was printing, Bananarama came in and swiped her card on the machine.

"Excuse me," I said. "I'm in the middle of something here."

"Yeah," she said, "I see that."

I fantasized briefly about taking her teeth out with a bus bench, but there wasn't one handy, so I collected my work and went immediately to my supervisor's office. She was conveniently talking to Bananarama's boss also. I briefly described the interaction, mentioned that it was the second time, and thanked them for listening to me. Bananarama's boss was in her office before the hour had expired, and according to one of the other clerks, he gave Bananarama an earful. And she attempted to deny the whole thing ever happened.

But he knows her, and he knows me, and I believe my character and my work speak for themselves. Anyway, the upshot is that now, Bananarama is not speaking to me (at all), there is even more tension in the office, and we have lost The New Guy. 

I'm not sure how this is going to pan out.

I could really use some time off.

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