Monday, 29 April 2013

Bug Off!

More insanity from the esoteric side of the street, as it's Monday and all...

Everyday that I work at the tarot shop, Madame X asks me how many readings I want. I am supposed to announce my desires to the universe in the hopes that these desires will manifest into actual readings, therefore cashola. But I've kind of given up on that whole thing, because it never happens and she always adds on to it anyway.

I was especially cynical this morning, because I woke up to snow flurries. Piss me off. So when she asked me, "What do you want today?", I said, "I want to accept with grace whatever the universe sees fit to send me."

"Okay, Universe, Sharon wants six hours and three half hours! Thank you for manifesting this desire today, April 29, 2013!"

I think I had three hours in total, which was more than I was anticipating, but still...

Then, a few minutes later, she called out to the staff, "Someone needs to look up beetles on the internet! I'm finding beetles in my house!"

"What kind of beetles?" I asked.

When she described them, it was pretty clear that what she was talking about are sow bugs.

"Don't worry about it," I said. "They're a little creepy, but they don't harm anything, so they won't wreck your stuff."

"But what does it mean when you find them in your house?" she said.

"That spring is coming and the bugs are emerging?"

She thought I was being funny. But seriously, why would you look for a deeper meaning than that?

Oh, and to top it all off? Client Number One of the day said to me, "I have a mental health issue."

Actual quote. Fuck my life.

Anyway, I had a terrific time at the Calgary Comic-con this weekend. I have a fabulous story to tell about my encounter with Carrie Fisher that all of you will enjoy, so give me a while to get my poop in a group and I'll get it out there, hopefully before the week is out.


Keith said...

Sending you a poop packaging kit, express.
And a package to put the robot test in, preaddress and postage paid to Mr. Harper, how needs it badly.

Sharon Needles said...

Keith, you have been very patient. I think I have successfully disabled the robot test.