Since I cannot bring myself to talk about the federal election, I will vent my spleen by bitching about Teeth.
As regular readers will know, Teeth recently attended a funeral back east. She has taken every opportunity since then to describe the various hysterics that occured, from who was invited (thus incurring the widower's wrath) to the self-indulgent carrying-on of some younger members of the family who couldn't be arsed to call grandma for the last two years of her life.
And Teeth will relate these stories to anyone that will listen, from her podmates and colleagues to anyone she gets on the phone. She's gotten a lot of mileage out of this funeral, which is clearly the most dramatic and important thing to happen to her since the development of orthodontia.
So I wasn't really surprized when Yvette emailed me yesterday to tell me that Teeth posted a card in the staff room, thanking the company for the lovely flower arrangement they sent to the services. Included with the card was a photo of said arrangement alongside the mother-in-law's casket.
Some of you more forgiving types might be thinking, "What's the big deal?", but I, for one, feel that a photo of the casket is
a) over the top
b) personal and private, and
c) one more way to remind us that SHE WAS AT A FUNERAL, YANNO, AND IT WAS REALLY, REALLY SAD.
Also, Yvette announced to the staff room during our break that she doesn't believe the Americans actually killed Osama bin Laden. Her argument is that for starters, they buried him at sea which is, like, a dead-giveaway, cuz it happened so fast. And secondly, she points out, how many people "over there" look just like him? It coulda been anyone.
It does no good to point out to her that, in strict accordance with Muslim tradition, a body must be interred within twenty-four hours of death (these people live in a hot climate--this makes sense). Nor will she listen when you tell her that burying him at sea deprives his followers of a pilgrimmage site. And on top of all that, how stupid would the Americans (especially President Obama) look if next week, bin Laden were to release a "Ha! Ha! I'm over here, next to Waldo!" video?
(Thanks to Aaron for the Waldo reference.)
And Two Clowns was no help at all during this discussion. Her contribution was, "I was in the Canadian Navy for seven years. As far as I'm concerned, his burial at sea was too dignified and better than he deserved."
"It does us no good to descend to the level of our enemies," I said, reasonably, but she went off on a vitriolic rant about what a shitbag bin Laden was, blahblahblah.
And I'm sure that the burial at sea disappoints Teeth, too, because now she can't attend the funeral or post pictures of the casket.
As regular readers will know, Teeth recently attended a funeral back east. She has taken every opportunity since then to describe the various hysterics that occured, from who was invited (thus incurring the widower's wrath) to the self-indulgent carrying-on of some younger members of the family who couldn't be arsed to call grandma for the last two years of her life.
And Teeth will relate these stories to anyone that will listen, from her podmates and colleagues to anyone she gets on the phone. She's gotten a lot of mileage out of this funeral, which is clearly the most dramatic and important thing to happen to her since the development of orthodontia.
So I wasn't really surprized when Yvette emailed me yesterday to tell me that Teeth posted a card in the staff room, thanking the company for the lovely flower arrangement they sent to the services. Included with the card was a photo of said arrangement alongside the mother-in-law's casket.
Some of you more forgiving types might be thinking, "What's the big deal?", but I, for one, feel that a photo of the casket is
a) over the top
b) personal and private, and
c) one more way to remind us that SHE WAS AT A FUNERAL, YANNO, AND IT WAS REALLY, REALLY SAD.
Also, Yvette announced to the staff room during our break that she doesn't believe the Americans actually killed Osama bin Laden. Her argument is that for starters, they buried him at sea which is, like, a dead-giveaway, cuz it happened so fast. And secondly, she points out, how many people "over there" look just like him? It coulda been anyone.
It does no good to point out to her that, in strict accordance with Muslim tradition, a body must be interred within twenty-four hours of death (these people live in a hot climate--this makes sense). Nor will she listen when you tell her that burying him at sea deprives his followers of a pilgrimmage site. And on top of all that, how stupid would the Americans (especially President Obama) look if next week, bin Laden were to release a "Ha! Ha! I'm over here, next to Waldo!" video?
(Thanks to Aaron for the Waldo reference.)
And Two Clowns was no help at all during this discussion. Her contribution was, "I was in the Canadian Navy for seven years. As far as I'm concerned, his burial at sea was too dignified and better than he deserved."
"It does us no good to descend to the level of our enemies," I said, reasonably, but she went off on a vitriolic rant about what a shitbag bin Laden was, blahblahblah.
And I'm sure that the burial at sea disappoints Teeth, too, because now she can't attend the funeral or post pictures of the casket.
3 comments:
And I'm sure that the burial at sea disappoints Teeth, too, because now she can't attend the funeral or post pictures of the casket.
Perhaps the funniest thing I've read all week. Oh! To deprive her of that! Oy!
"how many people 'over there' look just like him? It coulda been anyone."
What an idiot. For starters, he was 6' 4". But honestly, if this was a valid line of reasoning, then why did the US not just kill any one of "those people over there" at any point in the last ten years and claim it was him?
A friend of mine, who HAD actually traveled and worked in many places around the world, commented once that as soon as you hear someone use the phrase, "those people over there," you can pretty much double damn guarantee they don't know what the hell they're talking about. Anybody who's ever BEEN "over there" or who has a clue will always been more specific (Pakistan is about as much like Morocco as Canada is like Argentina, so lumping all Islamic countries, or Arabic speaking countries, or Middle Eastern countries, or Asian countries, together is ludicrous).
And on September 11, while people at or near the World Trade Centre were running for their lives or undertaking rescue, salvage or evacuation procedures, people watching it on the Jumbotron in Times Square were already saying, "we oughta go over there and bomb the hell outta those people." Never mind that nobody at the time had ANY idea who'd done it or where, exactly, "over there" this might have originated. If, in fact, it DID.
We can only be thankful that people who say stuff like this are not in charge. At least, for as long as they are NOT in charge!
You're a brave woman to put up with this, Sharon!
I'm a little surprised Two Clowns didn't claim to have found Bin Laden, herself.
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