Thor the Bore

Okay--for the kind of movie it was, I guess it was okay. Actually, that's not true, because when you think about the kind of movie it was--which is to say, one based on a comic book--I can think of at least two others that were significantly better, being V For Vendetta and The Watchmen.

Now, to be sure, Thor the comic book makes no political or social commentary (neither did the comic, I assume, since I never read it), so the movie isn't expected to either. It can't even bring itself to accurately reflect the Norse mythos.

I went to see it because I was intrigued by the talent behind it: Anthony Hopkins, Natalie Portman and Kenneth Branagh (director) are all winners in my book. And I can honestly say that the individual performances were fine. In fact, Anthony Hopkins deserves some kind of award for credibly delivering lines that were less than inspired. I mean, The Lion In Winter this was not, despite the wintery frost giants and all the talk of kings and political manouvering.

On the other hand, Hopkins could read the phone book and it would sound like Shakespeare.

But the plot was utterly predictable, and so linear, so straight, that at this very minute, that plot is driving its kids to soccer practice in a mini-van.

The 3-D effects were kinda cool, but I found them occasionally distracting. I would be looking at one part of the screen thinking, "Oh, that's an interesting texture," and have to remind myself that there was a cosmic battle occurring.

The best line of the flick (in my humble opinion) is spoken when Thor's divine friends show up in their faux-Norse armour in the middle of a New Mexico town. A townsman says, "Is there a Renaissance Faire in town?"

Ha ha on the SCA.

Also, I was delighted to sit through the credits in order to catch a glimpse of the magnetic Samuel L. Jackson, setting us up for the next installation in the series. Jackson is incredible, and I would watch him read the phonebook, too, only I suspect it might sound less like Shakespeare and more like, "Albert Spechko lives at 123 Maple Lane, motherfucker! Why am I reading this fuckin' phone book? Bitch, order me a pizza!"